Long time-a-comin'

I started our Family blog for our Family... Something to look back on and remember our thoughts and goings on. I print my blog out every year in hard back book form like a scrapbook since I don't have much time for scrap booking these days. I am saying this because this is one of those posts that is just for my thoughts about my family...

I have been homeschooling for 4yrs now. Every year at the beginning of the year, I have the clearest view of what our year will look like... Everything in order, just waiting to be learned and used... We get started, things are going great and then whamm-o just like a ton of bricks it all hits me in the face at the same time.
We started this journey because we were called to do it.... At no time in my childhood or Adult life, before children, did I ever have the urge or even know anything about homeschooling. As Grayson was getting ready to enter kindergarten, God spoke to me. Its like I just had a heaviness in my heart about what we were going to do come school time.. We threw around the options, public school, private school???? We just weren't settled...
Later in the week I ran into a friend that I hadn't seen in 10 yrs. or longer. I asked about her family, she asked about mine. We talked for ever. At the end of that conversation I asked about which school district they lived in and if they were happy with it.... She just looked at me with this grin and said, " We home school".
WHAT! You do what!! WHAT is home school??? I asked her what she had to do to get certified to do that.... You mean you can just school your children at home??? I had no idea that there was such a thing... I mean, I had heard of homeschooling, but never thought it was an option for me...
As I was driving home, I was lost in thought about homeschooling Grayson. I got home and told Matt what had just happened. He was very unexcited about any of my conversation. The fact that I had seen an old friend, the thought of homeschooling... none of it... So I just dropped it and went on...
Days, and weeks went by and I could not get the thought out of my mind. I researched and researched, called my old friend and spoke with her about the ins and outs. Prayed night and day. I prayed that the Lord show me his will for our family. I prayed that if homeschooling was not his will, that he would change my heart and mind, and if it was his will, that he would change Matt's heart. My heart was so heavy with thoughts of other options. But, I kept an open mind and wanted to do what Matt thought was best for our family... One day he came to me and said, ok , go get some curriculum for the summer, try it and if it works and you can teach him something then we will give it a try. So the next morning that is just what I did and we have never looked back.
We spent so much time on our knees, asking God to show us his will for our family and he did. We are so blessed and humbled that he chose us for this journey.
All of that to say that I loose sight so often of the reason we do this. I hear people tell there convictions for homeschooling or the choice to send their children to public or private school and realize that the Lord has called us all for different things and different reasons. He has a purpose for all of us, If we listen to that still small voice and don't turn him away for our own selfish desires he will surely bless us.There have been days when I just cry out to Him and say, "Lord, surely you made a mistake.Surely I'm not the one you created to do this. I'm not equipped." Every time I hear him say to me," Of course your not equipped, that is why you need me." "I have called you to do my works through you." I can only do what I do through Christ... Every morning when my feet hit the floor I pray for the wisdom and strength to Train and teach my children, the way the Lord would have me do. I am so thankful that he gives me grace and mercy. I am not equipped, yet everyday he gives me just what I need...Praise the Lord.

It seems that every year, I get caught up in the worldly thoughts of what is important. Is Grayson doing this, is he doing that. Is he meeting this goal or that goal. Does Grayson have ENOUGH socializing time? Really? Hahaha, are you kidding... The Lord doesn't care how often he socializes or even if he has 4 friends or 5 friends....God is the only comforter and friend that is necessary in this world... Its no wonder I get overwhelmed. You see, Matt and I from day one had the conviction to home school because of what we believe, and for religious reasons. I find myself sometimes beating around the bush when others ask me why we home school. Because me being what you may call a people pleaser, I don't want to step on toes or say the wrong thing. or make others feel that I think what they are doing or were called to do is wrong... Never do I feel this way. In an effort to be transparent and forthright in my strong convictions as to why we home school .... The answer is BECAUSE THE LORD HAS CALLED MY FAMILY TO DO SO.. He does not call everyone to home school, he does not call everyone to put their children in public or private school. He calls us all for different things. I wish that people could support one another and not feel like they are being attacked or judged bc others do things differently... Argggggggg I'm getting off topic, as usual...

Long story Long, I have come to the realization that the Lord has plans for our homeschooling.... What is so very important to him, I am putting on the back burner and it is time to hand it over... It's time to listen to what he has been trying to tell me for 4 yrs now... The struggles I have in our homeschooling are because I am selfishly trying to put what I hear others say is important in front of what the Lord is telling me.... So get ready world, its about to change...
The most important thing to the Lord and therefore Matt and I is that our children display Godly character.That they have a relationship with the Lord and know that He is the only way. We want to first and foremost spend most of our day in the Word. Math can wait, English can wait.... Now don't get me wrong, we will place emphasis on those things bc they are necessary. I'm not talking about being lazy. I'm saying that every year it doesn't end up as planned and now I know why. I'm not following the Lords plan for our school year.....
But I'm giving all up to him now and I'm ready for the ride.


Thank you Lord for the blessing of schooling my children. Thank you that you love me so much that you made it possible for me do the things that are pleasing to you.... I pray that my children grow and shine in your Word and that they may come to know you more completely than I could ever imagine.

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened so you may know what is the hope of his calling" Ephesians 1:18