So many times.....

So many times I feel tired and think about how long it takes me to get going during the day with all the many things I have to do. I have to get geared up sometimes for school in the mornings and I feel so ill prepared at times.

I know that I need to get more organized with it all and that is exactly what I am working on at this very moment. The wonderful thing is, is that God loves and lives in this ill prepared,unorganized heart of mine and I love it. I feel so blessed to be able to do what I do for my family. I fall so short. I feel inadequate alot and I feel like I hardly ever do it right but
The truth is that I LOVE what I do. I love every minute of schooling my boy, every single minute even the hard days I feel blessed. I also feel blessed every minute that I get to wash my husbands clothes and tell him how proud I am of him and the way that he provides for our family. Now don't get me wrong, there are days that I fall VERY short and get way out of my grateful and thankfully blessed mode and fall into my whoa is me, I have so much too do and no help attitude. But every night before I go to bed I thank God for what he created me for. I truly to the core of my being know that I was born to be Matt's wife and Grayson and soon to be baby Hill's mommy.

I have no doubt in my mind that there is nothing better for ME to be doing. I was asked not too long ago " So what in the world are you going to do when Grayson gets married or goes to college, or when he decides he wants to GO to school?"It got me to thinking. Well, my answer to that is I am going to love every minute of watching him grow and make a life and decisions of his own. That is what I am preparing him for.That is absolutely exciting to me. I am reading a book called Passionate Housewives Desperate for God and I can't recommend it enough.. I loved it. It totally explained how I feel on most all of what it talks about. Jennie Chancey and Stacy Mcdonald say in the book that " the truth is that biblical motherhood doesn't mean that we are promised postcard perfect days where we lounge together with our little ones on the porch swing in white starched dresses sipping lemonade and singing in harmony." Sometimes it ain't pretty . Other times its breathtaking...

"I have to remember that I am not a perfect wife or mother and have no delusions that i ever will be. I have no right to doubt God or lose heart when I fail in my God-given role as a wife or mother or sister in Christ. " Matt always says to me that he would much rather see me in the floor with toys all around and me reading to Grayson or playing a game than stressing out over tasks that didn't get completed that day....

So all of this to say that on those days that I seem to never get finished with what I started or I feel that I am too weak to do what I thought would get done I read this verse... "And he said unto me, " My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-11

"Read it again sisters! When you are weak, let out a whoop, because whatever you are able to do comes through the grace of God. When you are nothing, shout "Hallelujah" because Jesus is getting all the glory and honor for what you accomplish. God loves his weak, imperfect, needy people. ..... I love it"